Dear Customers,

I am sorry that none of you are able to accept "I don't know" as an answer. I am sorry that my best is not satisfactory because I am new and there's no one around to help and you don't get that or remember what that kind of frustration feels like.

I am sorry that my manager is an ignorant fuck-up, and after nearly a month of working here, the only things that I have been sufficiently trained in are bagging ice and cleaning the parking lot with a broom and a bucket of water, neither of which will help me resolve your issues.

I am sorry that this obviously false smile is becoming increasingly difficult to force, and when I say, "Have a nice day!" what I actually mean is "Burn in Hell!"

It would probably be best if you reported all further concerns to someone who gives a fuck and just left me alone.

Thanks. Have a nice day!