The air is hot and heavy, I can feel it pressing down on my lungs but I am not afraid. The sky is dark like it's ready to explode into thunder & lightning, and I hope a bomb goes off somewhere soon because all of this lack of fear has kind of got my hopes. Don't you see? Can't you feel it? In my best sweat-stained dress with a fresh pair of nothing on underneath, like the prettiest whore in town, who is still nothing but a no-good fucking whore, I'm ready to go. I think maybe I've been ready since the day I was born.
I don't want to love anyone, and I expect everyone to love me.
I guess we'll see how this works out.
The dead girl on the movie who was alcoholic-unloved-upclose-in-real-life said to me though the screen in black & white: "I've always wanted everyone to love me, and now I love someone and it's so easy."
I want to believe her.
I wish I believed in black & white or love or anything at all.
I wish anything was that easy.
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